Only God Knows...

Only God knows the challenge, strain, stress that comes with being a pastor!  Sometimes it just gets to be too much.  Trying to meet people's expectations.  Being subjected to people's judgement.  Being criticized for things that people don't even begin to understand all the thought and effort that go into.  Dealing with difficult personalities.  Working hard to see growth only to see plateaus and plummets.  The grind of week in and week out having something fresh to say.  The challenges of working with mostly volunteers.... and the list goes on....  And at those times, I want to raise my hands in surrender, walk away and get a 9-5 job in the normal world.

But then there is this thing called call... I am called by God to be a pastor and I just can't walk away whenever I want...Oh, I could, but that would not be faithful to God's call in my life and I don't want that!

So, this morning when the weight was more than I could bear and I couldn't turn off my stressful thoughts, I decided the best thing would be to bundle up and go for a long walk in the woods. 

I went to my favorite place, parked my truck, got out and started walking and praying... praying and walking... did that for over 4 hours.  Covered lots of ground!  Shared the weight of what I am carrying with God ... felt it lifting the longer I walked and prayed. 

Then about half way through my time walking/praying... I ducked out of the woods into a clearing and there in the blue sky was a mature bald eagle soaring on the currents.  Immediately Isaiah's words came rushing over my soul... lifting my spirit... "they that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not faint, they shall walk and not grow weary."   All I could do was stand there and gaze heavenward watching that eagle soar effortlessly and thank the Lord for taking the burden I was carrying.

It would have been easy to have stayed here in the office and allow the thoughts to churn, trying to handle it all by myself... but I am so glad that I didn't.  I am so glad that I made time to go, spend with God, crying out and allowing him to take the weight.  Now I can approach the tasks of this week in a much better way.

God is good!  All the time!  And he is willing to take our burden, but we have to be willing to let him.