It has been my biggest struggle for most of my life! And even though I know it has a downside, I can't seem to navigate away from it. I am aware that the greatest thing I can do as a leader is to empower and mentor others... calling out their gifts and helping them develop. But there is this struggle I have, it plays out like this... "but what if they don't do it the way I would?" Another side to the struggle is, "why should I ask someone else to do what I can do?"
Both sides of this struggle are growing edges for me that I need to do better at working on!
Yesterday, I spent the day (10 a.m. to 6:15 p.m.) working at the Ministry Center doing something that was a BIG task! It was far bigger than I had anticipated! And I knew I should have called in some help when it became obvious that it was bigger than I thought it would be.
You see, this year the leaves fell late and we didn't schedule a Fall Cleanup day, so now that all the leaves are finally down, they needed to be cleaned up. Since it is hunting season and I didn't want to spare my day off (Friday) or a Saturday for this venture, I missed out on some help on Friday or Saturday of last week (though the offerer did blow off the parking lot!)... besides I looked at it and thought it was not a big job this year... boy was I wrong! I didn't call anyone to help me, when I found it to be a bigger task than I thought because I didn't want to interrupt their day and I had already decided that yesterday was the day - I didn't want to give another day this week to the task. My issue wasn't that someone else couldn't do as good a job, it was why should I bother someone else to do what I can do! And besides, I don't ever want to be known as one who is afraid to roll up my sleeves and get dirty!
The problem is not really that it took me all day nor is it that I am very sore today. The problem is that in doing it all myself, I don't create a climate for seeing taking care of the Minstry Center as a responsibility of all of us! Rather I create a climate where others think "someone else will do it - so I don't have to worry about it." Not the kind of climate I want to create! It takes all of us!
So, I must do better at letting go and letting others! All day as I was working, I was thinking of Jethro's words to Moses in Exodus 18: 17-18, "What you are doing is not good. You will surely wear yourself out, both you and these people with you. For the task is too heavey for you; you cannot do it alone."
Lord help me become an empowering leader who calls out the gifts of others!
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