Amazed....

Last night I had an interesting experience.   In the midst of a gathering that I was part of, something happened that brought some emotions to the surface that I thought I had LONG ago laid to rest and moved beyond.  After nearly 13 years, it surprised and amazed me that these emotions were even still present in me and it amazed me how fast they took control of my actions and thoughts.

For the first couple of years after I moved past these horrible experiences, I would find myself "ducking" which was a response that triggered when I found myself in situations that we similar to the horrible experiences of years past... but I hadn't experienced that for years and then last night... out of the blue... something triggered these emotions and before I knew it I found myself transported in time and space and was ducking again. 

This expereince has been valuable to me and I have reflected on it all day.  It has taught me that I must be careful not to allow past situations and emotions to come in and cloud my present relationships and life experiences. And when I start to feel those emotions welling up, it is good to pause, pray, and remember where I am at the time and that there is no need to duck automatically.    It is also helpful for me to realize that something quite emotional that was expereinced long ago can still have an impact on your present.

Thankful that in the end there was no need to duck and that these emotions can be buried once again!   And hope it is another 13 years or never again that they raise up!  But know this, if they ever raise up again, I will be better prepared for it and not as surprised by them.