Who Pastors the Pastor?

On Sunday night, Sally and Doug Ruby brought dinner and said that this was a question that she has been asking herself during my illness.  It is a good question and one that most parishioners don't think about asking, most probably assume it just happens.

Well, I am happy to say that I am part of a loving congregation where it does happen. I have had many expressions of love and concern from the folks at Community of Joy.  And they have ranged from comments on Facebook, emails, daily phone calls, meals, offers to run errands, offers to preach, offers to do whatever is needed. taxiing my daughter places, prayers, even laying on of hands and anointing!  Each expression of love has meant so much to me and my family!  THANKS!

And I also must say that the expressions of love and support have come from the wider church all over... some have called, emailed, facebooked, and one even beat me to the emergency room - just to pray with me!  THANKS!

Yesterday afternoon, we even had a visit from Gene Hagenberger, our District Executive, who drove here special from the Baltimore area to support, encourage, and pray with us.  It meant alot that he would come all that way just to share love and prayer!  THANKS Gene!

Last night in the Bible study that I lead at the Ministry Center we had another expression of care for the Pastor.   We were reading Mark 3 where Jesus heals a man with a withered hand and later on sends his apprentices out with the authority to cast out demons and heal people.  In the middle of our conversation, one of the members of the study who, this was her second time with us, said to me, "Pastor Martin move your chair into the middle of the circle." and then she got up and said, "now lets all gather around him and lay hands on him and pray."  Then she prayed a simple but heart felt prayer for God's healing.  It was indeed a VERY MOVING experience for me.  Words can not describe it.  And I had been anointed a couple weeks prior in our 9 a.m. worship gathering by a dear brother in Christ and that was also VERY MEANINGFUL!

Last night, I took a moment to talk to the group about healing after this experience.  And what I said must have felt like I was doubting, at least to the lady who initiated the prayer.  Because after the group , she came up to me and said, "Now what is your name?  Is it Thomas?.   And then I tried to explain that I was not doubting at all... it's just that sometimes when we pray, we forget who has the power...and we try to order God to do what we want him to do and when he doesn't do it just like we order, then we get upset.  I have felt God's powerful presence throughout this whole ordeal and that can't be discounted!

So, on the way home, I started questioning my response.  And prayed that God would know that I was open to healing in whatever form he desired it!

This morning, when I woke up, my mouth is functioning almost normally!  My eye nearly blinks and my speech is much improved!  Praise God!

I am so thankful for people who aren't afraid to step out and reach out... if even to the pastor!

Soon....

Soon I will blog about something more significant than a health update on me.

But for today... let me say that I went to the docs for the third time in this journey and that doesn't include the one ER trip.  She agreed with my ER Physicians Assistant friend who disgnosed this as Ramsay-Hunt Syndrome.  She called the Nuerologist to see about an appointment before April 25 and got me on the cancelation call list... in addition she spoke with the Nuero, and he suggested another round of steriods might ease the pain.  We are staying with the Nueronton 600 mg taken 3 times a day and the Oxycodone in 5 mg increments till the pain is managed every 4-8 hours depending on pain.  And we added prednisone again.  So, only time will tell.

My eye has been bothering me terribly.  Since it doesn't close or blink, it doesn't get lubricated.  And even though I was putting drops in regularly and wearing a patch often... it hasn't made much of a difference.  So, I found a gel that has been wonderful!  A friend suggested I try a gel and it has eased the pain and seems to be keeping the eye moist!

Thankful for the small things!

What it is....

For those who have been following my illness and would like to know more about Ramsay-Hunt Syndrome... here it is...

This morning was good... pain is at a level 2 or 3 but is tolerable with no meds taken since midnight.  However, my right eye (the one that doesn't close) is red and irritated.  I feel as though something is in my eye and causing it such pain. I have an emergency eye doc appointment this afternoon.  I have been wearing a patch and putting drops in it to keep it from drying out  but all of that seems in vain at this point.

Update:  4 p.m.   Pain level increased enough to take some tylox and I was able to get the eyelash out of my eye before going to the doc, so I canceled that appt.  Also was able to move my regular doc appt up from Thursday to Tuesday.

Hanging....

I am still hanging in there with this pain and paralyzed right side of my face.  The pain is being well managed with our new medicine regimine, however that means I crash for about an hour or so after I take the med... and leaves me with about 2.5 -3 hours of good time until the next dose.  Also had some challenges with upset stomach due to the amount of meds I was taking... thanks to a new med, that is being cared for as well.  It just meant that most of yeasterday was a gaining ground back kind of day.

It is all good and just another bump in the road.  Sharon and I were talking about how when we go through experiences like this, we learn so much.  We are both seeing ways that we can have greater empathy toward others who are going through similar situations.  And we are recognizing that there is much we take for granted in life that can be here today and gone tomorrow.

I am thankful for all the expressions of prayer and support we have experienced in this journey.

Grateful!

I am extremely grateful for people who are willing to step in and help out!  I am still struggling with this illness... the pain is coming back.  It seems that I acclimate to the medicines quickly and they don't do their job.

Thanks to Ken for agreeing to speak on Sunday and to Gary for choosing music for the 10:30.  And big thanks to my friend Mark who is a doc and has given me counsel on a plan for pain management that I can approach my doc with whenever he calls me back.

Marvelling...

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you." Psalm 139:13-18


The Psalmist shares his faith in God in the above verses. And the pretty much sum up how I am feeling right now... Think about how wonderfully made your body is and think about all the functions it does that you and I take for granted.


I praise God for the wonder of his creation. My Bells Palsy is making myeye not function properly. It doesn't close nor does it blink... and as hard as I try to get it to do so, it is nearly impossible. I can close it by using my finger, but not by willing it to do so. Well, that results in a dry eye. And means I must add drops to lubricate it. But the drops don't work as well as natural tears.

Now think about how God created us to have an eye lid that periodically blinks so that it lubricates our eyes using tears that our eye produces.  And add to that the fact that when our eye blinks, it happens so fast that we hardly notice and it doesn't affect our ability to see.   That is a reality that I hardly take notice of until a time such as this when my facial muscles are paralyzed and don't work and that paralysis has interrupted God's design.

Makes me marvel at how "wonderfully made" we are!  Praise God for the wonder of his works!

Powerful Stuff...

"Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. ¹⁴ Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. ¹⁵ And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. ¹⁶ Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. " James 5:13-16

For most of last week, I have been battling severe pain on the right side of my head.  Two nights I had a rash that was very painful under my right arm.  Went to Doc, ER, and talked to Doc on phone.  Put on 6 different meds... with varying degrees of help.  Was feeling some better on Friday afternoon after the last of the meds were added to my regimine.  And felt fine on Sat. morning but by the end of our leadership team retreat on Saturday, I was in severe pain behing the ear.  The lymph node there was swollen and very painful.  Nothing was touching the pain.  In addition on Sat. morning, I noticed that I couldn't spit and things didn't taste good as well as my lips on the right side were feeling numb.  By Sunday morning I was confident that we were headed to Bells Palsy...   And by this time the pain moved from behind the right ear to IN the right ear.   Feels like someone is sticking a knife in it. 

I had several offers from someone in the congregation to preach for me Sunday, even if at the last minute.  I am greateful for those offers! 

But I felt God had given me a message to share and wanted to do it if I could.  Talking was difficult and singing was nearly impossible. So, I thought...  I have annointed many people before, why not ask someone to annoint me.  That's what I did!  I asked a dear brother, who is a retired pastor to annoint me.  He called for folks to come lay hands on me and then annointed me and prayed.  What a touching experience!  So thankful that he was willing and that God moved! 

I was able to preach both gatherings with little effect from the bells palsy!  Which was my bold prayer!  Very Powerful indeed!  Thanks be to God!

Another thing I enjoy...

I love to hunt... but in addition to that, I really enjoy doing taxidermy work.  When we lived in PA and I needed a taxidermist to fix a deer horn for me, I found one who became a dear friend.  Lewis Fisher was more than willing to allow me to watch him, learn from him, help him.   I spent many hours in his shop learning and helping and deepening our friendship.  I will be forever grateful for his friendship and his mentoring!

Since coming here to the shore, I have continued to apply what I learned there.  Here is my latest project.  My first 6 pt sika stag with a bow...

It still needs to dry and then be painted and finally hung on my family room wall!  Thankful that my wife allows me to have one of my trophies in the family room!

Bummed

I am so bummed!  I was really looking forward to staying tonight at the Wicomico Presbyterian Church's shelter from midnight to 7 a.m.  but that isn't going to happen now!   Went to doc today because I am having pain accross the top of my head, down my right side of the face, in my ear, down my neck, in my throat.  She says I have fluid in my ear and thinks I have a sinus infection.  She gave me Amoxicylin and told me to take Claritan D as well as percoset.  None of that is helping.  In fact the pain is getting worse.  Some nurse friends think I have shingles.  Developing a spot under my arm that is red and burns.  So, I am on my way to the ER to see what they say. 

Thankful for Robbie Smith who was willing to step in and take my spot at the shelter.  And to Norma - the shelter manager, for understanding.

I was looking forward to seeing the guys again!

Also to add to my bummed state, since it might be shingles, I won't be able to complete my on call when the Vogel baby comes.  I was on stand by to stay with my little buddy William until Grandma and Grandpa got here from Pittsburgh while Mommy and Daddy were at the hospital having baby brother. 

So Happy!

I am so happy to be part of a church where leaders lead!

I am also happy to be part of a church where decisions can happen quickly and we don't have ten hoops to jump through in order to get to where we need to go.  And where it is understood that the building we use is for more than Sunday mornings!

This morning while I was walking at the mall (my daily walk) I got a phone call from the Coordinator of our homeless shelter program here in Salisbury saying the my friends at Wicomico Presbyterian Church had a water main break last night and might need to find another place to house the guys that are part of their shelter this week.  I told her that I knew of no reason why Community of Joy would not be available, but I would check out a couple of things and get back to her.  In the meantime, I called my friend at Wicomico Presbyterian to see what was needed.  Then I emailed our Leadership Team to see if anyone objected to offering our ministry Center.  And by 9 or 9:30 I had responses enough to know that I could give my friend a "we got your back" call.  Which I did.

Delighted to learn about 2 p.m. that they were able to get the leak repaired and could complete the week in their facility.  Delighted for them, not necessarily that our place wouldn't be used... just happy that they get to experience the FULL blessing of hosting the shelter!  This is only their second year and they are really enjoying it and doing a FANTASTIC job at it!

I am also thankful for the ways that the various churches of our county are working together to be on mission for Jesus!

Sorry for the quality of the picture... but my cell phone was the only camera I had yesterday in the second worship gathering.  And this picture was begging to be taken.

Little Matthew was eager to be in the praise team yesterday... so, he sat on his dad's lap and took it all in from the front!  Later he was on the floor by his dad's stool and was clapping along with the song! 

A picture is worth more than a thousand words...

Church Size

Every pastor that has ever attended a pastors conference knows that one of the first questions after your name is "how big is your church?"   And what do you say?   What do they want to know?  How many are members?  How many attend on Sunday/ Saturday?  And most church boards/leadership teams measure church size in those same terms.  But does that really tell the story?

I have always thought NOT!

I have always thought that there are better measures of the size of a church.  And a recent facebook message exchange confirms this for me.

A friend of mine is the Key Volunteer for Wicomico Presbyterian Church's Homeless Men's Shelter this week and she was having a hard time filling all the open slots for help.  So, I offered her help in filling them.  We were able to fill all her available slots.  Two weeks ago, the guys were at St. Francis and they had the same trouble, and once again Community of Joy stepped in to help out! 

This friend said, that she and her husband were talking the other day about how two larger churches in the community struggled to staff their shelters but a smaller church (Community of Joy) was able to step in and help.   My immediate thought was, "it is not the size of the building or the group of people that matter... it is the size of the heart!"

I am grateful that Community of Joy has a BIG heart for the things of God's Kingdom right here and right now!

Jolly!

Was a real jolly last night when we arrived at the Ministry Center for Bible Study and were greeted by 4 of our Homeless Shelter Guests.  One has been coming regularly to worship for a while and he had called in the afternoon to see if the study was happening.  He didn't mention that he was bringing three friends but he did!  One had been a recent guest.  One had been a guest in previous years.  And one I met for the first time.  I was delighted that they wanted to come!  I was delighted that they actively participated in the conversation!

So cool when all God's children can come together and learn from each other!

As a pastor, it delights my soul when our homeless brothers feel welcomed and want to participate.   Sad, but true, not every church would welcome these brothers!  Proud that Community of Joy folks throw wide the welcome!

Give Us this Day...

Been preaching through a series on the Lord's Prayer phrase by phrase.  When I got to the phrase "Give us this day, our daily bread..." It hit me.

How do we who live in a culture of excess and abundance pray that prayer?  I mean, we have more than we can eat in a day in our homes.  Most of us don't have to worry about where our next meal is going to come from.  The only worry we have is what to fix or what we are hungry for.  I've been in some homes in our world where they don't even have a choice about what to fix.  They eat the same thing at each meal and are grateful to have something to eat.  In lots of places in our world, people don't know what the next meal will be.  And for them to pray, "give us this day, our daily bread." is totally different than me.  For them it is a prayer of desperation.  For me, though when I pray, "Give us this day our daily bread," it is a commitment of concern and compassion for those who struggle to have enough.

So, my challenge to our folks was to eat less, waste less, support organizations like Heifer International (which we are currently in the midst of a "Fill the Ark" campaign) and to buy Fair Trade items.  In case you don't know what fair trade is... here is a great video that will aid your understanding what it is and why it is important to buy it.

Only God Knows...

Only God knows the challenge, strain, stress that comes with being a pastor!  Sometimes it just gets to be too much.  Trying to meet people's expectations.  Being subjected to people's judgement.  Being criticized for things that people don't even begin to understand all the thought and effort that go into.  Dealing with difficult personalities.  Working hard to see growth only to see plateaus and plummets.  The grind of week in and week out having something fresh to say.  The challenges of working with mostly volunteers.... and the list goes on....  And at those times, I want to raise my hands in surrender, walk away and get a 9-5 job in the normal world.

But then there is this thing called call... I am called by God to be a pastor and I just can't walk away whenever I want...Oh, I could, but that would not be faithful to God's call in my life and I don't want that!

So, this morning when the weight was more than I could bear and I couldn't turn off my stressful thoughts, I decided the best thing would be to bundle up and go for a long walk in the woods. 

I went to my favorite place, parked my truck, got out and started walking and praying... praying and walking... did that for over 4 hours.  Covered lots of ground!  Shared the weight of what I am carrying with God ... felt it lifting the longer I walked and prayed. 

Then about half way through my time walking/praying... I ducked out of the woods into a clearing and there in the blue sky was a mature bald eagle soaring on the currents.  Immediately Isaiah's words came rushing over my soul... lifting my spirit... "they that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not faint, they shall walk and not grow weary."   All I could do was stand there and gaze heavenward watching that eagle soar effortlessly and thank the Lord for taking the burden I was carrying.

It would have been easy to have stayed here in the office and allow the thoughts to churn, trying to handle it all by myself... but I am so glad that I didn't.  I am so glad that I made time to go, spend with God, crying out and allowing him to take the weight.  Now I can approach the tasks of this week in a much better way.

God is good!  All the time!  And he is willing to take our burden, but we have to be willing to let him.

What a Joy!

Just got home from Pinehurst Elementary School's monthly good behavior rewards activity.  It sure is lots of fun and a real joy to be able to serve there.  Today, 6 of us from Community of Joy helped provide crowd control for the cup stacking contests.  K-5.   It was lots of fun and is neat to begin to make connections with the kids and the staff.  Everyone is so thankful for our help and it truly feels good to be able to help out and share love in little ways.

I am now taking Fridays off, but won't miss this event which is always the first Friday of the month.  What a blast to watch these young children stack and unstack cups.  Sure takes alot of eye/hand coordination to do it!

Singing the song...

Len Sweet says that "the greatest task of a human being, your greatest mission in life? To find and sing your own song - to the glory of God!"

When that happens look out!  The melody is so beautiful and the fulfillment that comes is unreal!